The trouble with 69-ing

…SO where were we? Ah, yes. Interiors. (Incidentally, I couldn’t resist the urge to blog any longer, so it’s business as usual. Expect more of the same pun-tastic crip crap, littered with unnecessary use of the UPPER CASE etc as PER. Am trying to ignore the fact that this feels a bit like that awkward second album when you’ve gone solo from the band and embrace my new swanky online home complete with grey paper background). Onwards…

The Normann Copenhagen ‘69’ light fitting is, as we all know, a ‘Classic’. It was designed in 1969. It’s made up of 69 individual and rather annoying flappy little pieces. It costs around £69. It’s ‘a bit like a pine cone’ and pretty damn cool. It diffuses light but covers the bulb so you get no glare. Those genius Danes. Trouble is, you have to build it yourself…

Famously flummoxed by flat pack instructions (I recently had a spot of bother with IKEA’s gingerbread house – no really), I resorted to following the online step-by-step video on the achingly-cool Normann Copenhagen website instead. All trippy trance music and fast-forwarded folding on a black background, I foolishly assumed that my task would be a quick one. But NO. There is some serious folding required. What nobody tells you is that IT TAKES ROUGHLY 69 HOURS TO MAKE. You start off fairly elegantly, merrily clipping bits of plastic together on your lap while watching Come Dine With Me re-runs. Towards the end, you have a huge globe on the floor, your fingers raw from folding, beads of sweat on your brow, your sleeve rolled up to the elbow, your arm inside the bloody thing like you’re birthing a lamb. People with small hands definitely have an advantage.

Anyway, it was finally done and everybody made suitably impressed sounds as it was hung ceremoniously in the master bedroom. Like bonfire night, we all ‘aaah-ed’. It was perfect. For five minutes. Then a strange burning smell filled the room and I realised to my horror that the whole thing was melting from within like a hideous marshmallow. Misson aborted, I gazed sadly at my shrivelled up design classic. Still not sure what went wrong. Were the weird folded disc thingies in the wrong place? Was the bulb too strong!? I will never know. But I’m £69 down. Embracing the bare-bulb industrial look for now.

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One Response to The trouble with 69-ing

  1. Zeck Kindschuh says:

    Hello there! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be okay.

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